With well over 100 millions smartphone and tablet apps available on the market today, there are going to be some really bad ones out there.

The Most Pointless Apps of all Time

Rate a Fart

Girl Farting Under Water - The Most Useless Apps Of All Time

This pointless app gives you hours of 'fun' with its library of 700 farts, you can even record and submit your own 'gas explosions' should you feel the urge to share.

Hair Clinic for Men and Women

Apparently this app releases inaudible frequencies which prevent hair loss when rubbed across your scalp.

Kiss Me

Kiss Me will give you a completely pointless kiss rating, for slapping a sloppy one on your screen.


If smooching your smartphone doesn't take your fancy then how about measuring your passion in the bedroom? Passion uses your built in microphone and accelerometer to calculate your score.

Sexy Girl Talk

If you want to hear the alphabet in a sexy and sophisticated voice then this is the app for you, whatever turns you on!


Are you a risk taker? HangTime measures how far you can throw your iPhone in the air. Just don't come crying to us when it shatters into a thousand pieces on the ground!

UK Payphone

Why on earth would you need to search for the nearest public payphone when you have an iPhone in your hand, not sure the developers really thought this one through properly at the drawing board.


If you are gullible enough to think placing a vibrating phone on your belly will solve all your spare tyre problems then go ahead and splash out $0.99 on this 'super fat burner' app.

Drunk Sniper

Tilt your phone to direct a yellow stream of pee and see if you can hit the toilet bowl while drunk or sober.

Beer Opener

Nope, this app won't help you open a real bottle of beer, but it will let you experience the 'action' by letting you open a virtual bottle.


Do you have some weird fetish for stapling things? Well now you can staple to your hearts content with this virtual stapler.

Hold on

Are you a man or a mouse? Prove how macho you are by seeing how long you can 'hold-on', by placing your finger on a button on the screen and seeing just how long you can 'press' it for.


This developer must have either being on something illegal or just outright bored when he made this app, Eshaver allows those of us who are in a rush in the morning have a virtual shave.


Scared out of your mind and worrying that you just won't get it right when it comes to popping the question? Fear not, this app will make it as easy as pressing a button, literally! A sure fire way to get an instant rejection!


Do you have a fetish for zips? If so then zip this zipper up and down to your hearts content.

Tickle Me

Do you see yourself as the next 'Mr Tickle'? Go ahead and prove your tickling skills by tickling your iPhone, which responds with a disturbing child's laugh.

Mylite Coloured Strobe and Flashlight

Ditch the glow sticks and get down and dirty on the dance floor with your very own, custom created, strobe light using your smartphone.

Alarm Free

Touch this app to let off a faint alarm should you feel the need to call for help whilst face to face with a criminal. Sadly those more than an arm’s length away won't hear it.


Fancy a refreshing pint but have the kids, or have to drive? No problem, down a quick one on the go with this virtual pint.

Doomsday Clock

Want to know exactly how long you have left until the end of the world? This clock counts down in months, days, hours, minutes and seconds until the 21st December 2012.