If it weren’t for online surveys how would we ever know the percentage of male teenagers in Britain who wear their mother’s panties when they’re at work, or just how many women lie to their boyfriends about their bedroom satisfaction? In addition to all the supremely useful things the internet has brought us, it’s also delivered a tidal wave of useless junk we can’t get enough of.

Fifty years ago we wouldn’t have cared about the number of emo kids who feel the need to carve the name of their paramour into their skinny thighs, and we probably wouldn’t have been able to find out even if we did.

Now, thanks to online connectivity, we’ve got unlimited access to a splurge of useless information from surveys conducted around the world. Not all of it is useless of course, not by a long measure, but there’s a lot that is, as proven by the following online surveys:

Top 5 Funniest Online Surveys Ever

Top 5 Funniest Online Surveys Ever

The Bathroom Survey

Look, if you want to spend ten minutes of your life detailing your bathroom habits then that’s your choice, but what on earth are they planning on doing with this information? You have to complete the survey before you can see any of the results and, with questions like ‘are you an inspector’ in their ‘poop’ section and ‘do you urinate every time you defecate’ in their miscellaneous section, I just couldn’t go through with it. If you’d like to know how many people have ‘pooped in their pants recently’ (their words) then go check it out at

The Emo Survey

Damn those emo kids – with about a million surveys online to help them validate their weird little habits, you can hardly surf an inch without stumbling onto one.

Are you emotional? Do you like music? Do you like your hair? Do you like inspiring stuff? You’re an emo! Um…thanks, so is my mom and my whole family and everyone I know and the WORLD. There goes my unique spirit.

The ‘Do You Have A Creepy Relationship With Your Pet’ Survey

Fine, I couldn’t find the actual survey for this fact so my legitimacy as a writer is completely shattered, but who cares, I’m on a roll! According to about nine million people buy valentines gifts for their pets every year.

Now, I’m all for animals and their rights and ensuring they have awesome lives but , if you live alone, have no family or friends and give Rover a heart shaped frame on Valentine’s Day and act surprised when you find the gift he ‘bought’ you under your pillow…you’re probably related to Buffalo Bill.

The Condom Survey

Fine, this one might be slightly more useful than the others. The results show statistics of answers gathered from 270 guys (hopefully) who took a survey detailing their experiences with condoms. You’ll find answers to questions like ‘when a condom has broken, what type of activity was occurring?’ – and you’ll probably wonder, just like I did what, ‘other’ means as an answer.

Find out what condom brand rules and how well they fit, and stuff at

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The Cross Dressing Survey

Come on, don’t be shy, take the survey and see if you’re a legit transvestite or just a dude who digs women’s clothes. You’ll get to answer stuff about whether you cross dress in private or public, how often and why you enjoy it.

I think the cross dresser who designed the poll is bound to get some pranksters sending in answers for shock value, though on the whole the survey is actually for a good reason – to help find out what serious cross dressers are really interested in online, besides frilly panties and corsets.

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