The internet is a developing technology in every aspect but the clearest example of this is when it comes to hardware. Although you don’t receive your internet access by magic, understanding how you access it and why your download speed limits are what they are is tricky.

WiFi, cable modems, fibre optics and cellular or satellite broadband – there are half a dozen options all with their own pros and cons. At the end of the day though, each government of each country has made a varying level of commitment to establishing internet infrastructure – and regardless of your finances, you’re limited to that.

There are also a lot of varying opinions on which countries have what speed capacities, so I’ve decided to take the averages from the most reputable ones (SpeedTest and Akamai) with the most recent information as of 13th Jan 2012.

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Funny slow internet demotivational poster

No Speed

These sad sad countries are virtually bereft of the net as we know it. With download speeds of under a meg their ISPs can’t even legally claim that they’re offering broadband. All of them fall into the category of struggling countries though, so blaming them for lack of foresight and hardware is probably unfair. If you started downloading a Harry Potter movie when you were 20, it would be ready just in time for your granddaughter’s 60th birthday – SCORE!

  1. Zambia 0.47 Mbps
  2. Bolivia 0.58 Mbps
  3. Reunion 0.66 Mbps
  4. Northern Mariana Islands 0.67 Mbps
  5. Cote D'Ivoire 0.69 Mbps
  6. Malawi 0.71 Mbps
  7. Lesotho 0.75 Mbps
  8. Mali 0.78 Mbps
  9. Botswana 0.83 Mbps
  10. Afghanistan 0.95 Mbps

Light Speed

Now, we’re talking slightly more reasonable figures here but make no mistake, if you live in one of these countries then you’ll still spend a great deal of your time crying when you try to download an MP3 and you can pretty much forget about torrents/NZBs.

  1. Nepal 2.14 Mbps
  2. Guatemala 2.15 Mbps
  3. Anguilla 2.16 Mbps
  4. Costa Rica 2.20 Mbps
  5. Brunei Darussalam 2.36 Mbps
  6. Barbados 2.37 Mbps
  7. Martinique 2.41 Mbps
  8. Paraguay 2.42 Mbps
  9. Turks and Caicos Islands 2.50 Mbps
  10. St. Vincent and Grenadines 2.52 Mbps

Ridiculous Speed

Now we’re talking progress. Follow the money and this area is pretty much were you land as the majority of the big players end up in this category. You’d think that they’d be up in the top category but they’ve got lots of other things to spend their money on. America has espionage to perform, the UAE is making postcards, Russia is buying vodka and the French are importing tourists to mock – ah stereotypes.

  1. Australia 9.83 Mbps
  2. United Arab Emirates 10.17 Mbps
  3. Spain 10.85 Mbps
  4. Russia 11.62 Mbps
  5. United Kingdom 11.68 Mbps
  6. Greenland 11.81 Mbps
  7. Canada 12.03 Mbps
  8. United States 12.40 Mbps
  9. France 13.02 Mbps
  10. Hungary 14.02 Mbps

Fastest Internet Connection Around the World

Ludicrous Speed

These figures change all the time so consider this a basic idea of the internet leaders. Clearly these guys have been hoarding their cash and laying down some serious fibre optic cables because their average speeds are enough to make me lose my lunch all over my government’s offices on principle. Clearly, Count Dracula and Dr Doom are big Tweeters and refuse to wait another second to hear what Chris Brown has smashed during his latest snit. The average resident can pretty much download the entire internet while they wait for the kettle to boil.

  1. Hong Kong 21.24 Mbps
  2. Macau 21.51 Mbps
  3. Singapore 22.82 Mbps
  4. Netherlands 24.49 Mbps
  5. Romania 24.66 Mbps
  6. Sweden 24.98 Mbps
  7. Latvia 25.50 Mbps
  8. Estonia 31.31 Mbps
  9. Japan 34.17 Mbps
  10. South Korea 49.30 Mbps

*If you were wondering where South Africa was, then it’s between Light and Ridiculous Speed, hanging out with most of the recovering war torn countries for some reason – I blame Julius.