It’s a fact; most people who work in IT are geeks, which I think we’re all OK with. And there’s not anything we love more than parodies. Here are the 10 best IT quotes, and why we love them.




Top 10 Funny and Geeky IT Quotes


1. “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” – Roy, The IT Crowd

Never has a truer word been spoken than that of Roy, courtesy of the brilliant writers of The IT Crowd. The fix to virtually every computer problem this world has ever seen, yet not actually thought of by 99% of the population. It has been a source of constant head-desking for IT support workers everywhere. Just remember non-geeks, when something goes wrong, press the power button.


2. “I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.” – T-shirt

Because after a day of trying to sort out other people’s computer-based foolishness, you just don’t want to talk to anyone.


3. “Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.” – Unknown

If only everyone else listened to this great piece of advice. The number of times we’ve had to deal with the consequences of hacking, to find out someone simply found and entered the password. Oh, and repeat after me...‘Password’ is not an acceptable password. OK? /


4. “What kind of operating system does it use?”

“Err... it's...
Vista!”

“We are going to die!” – The IT Crowd

Now, The IT Crowd may have been diffusing a bomb at the time this was said, but anyone working with computers knows that with Vista, you could die. It’s that bad.


5. “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” – Mitch Ratliff

And like handguns and tequila, computers should not be given to those who cannot handle them properly. What was that you said? You clicked on an attachment from an unknown sender? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

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6. “Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.” – Unknown

Your computer never even had a chance...


7. “Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.” – Unknown

So, who would like to develop a virtual hammer, then?


8. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” – Thomas Edison

Ok, so this quote isn’t strictly about computers, but it is very applicable. I may have spent over 12 hours trying to fix your computer and not done it, but it doesn’t mean I can’t...


9. “PEBKAC” – Unknown

If you know what this means, you are a true IT geek, and I salute you. For the rest of you, this is the diagnosis of the most common computer issues – Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. Yup. It’s not always the computers fault.


10. “Computer says no” – Little Britain

Computers were designed to service humans. So technically, we should be surprised that at least once a day we hit the “computer says no” wall. Unfortunately, I think that as a whole, we’ve accepted unknown errors, crashing and slow loading speeds. Or maybe the world needs to stop running on Windows.

Do you know of any more funny IT quotes I’ve missed?

Jasmine Ayres regularly blogs for ElectronicWorkplace.com, a leading web hosting company and one of the best voip providers in the UK. She writes to help people better their IT skills, and to provide some laughs for the geek community.

 
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